Overheard in the Library
I was once a faithful reader of the website Overheard in New York. I was both appalled and highly entertained at the crazy stuff people say when they think no one is listening. My friend and I made up a few of our own that reflect some of our daily interactions with the public. Some are true, others are mostly true, and the rest are completely made up. Let’s see if you can tell which are true and which are not.
Overheard in the Library #1:
Twinky 1: I like totally use the Library all the time!
Twinky 2: Wow, you must read a lot.
Twinky 1: No… I just come here for the DVDs.
Overheard in the Library #2:
Jackass: I’m not paying that fine. I know I returned that book on time.
Clerk: Ok. Later. <walks away>
Jackass: I’m not paying!
Clerk to self: Whateva, sucka.
Overheard in the Library #3:
Clerk: Excuse me ma’am, you can’t bring your pet in the library.
Woman: But he’s my guide.
Clerk: Ma’am, he’s a chicken!
Woman: What? You don’t like chickens?!?
Overheard in the Library #4:
Lady: Can you tell that woman on her cell phone to be quiet?
Clerk: No, I can’t.
Lady: Why not? She’s disturbing everyone around her.
Clerk: Because our administration doesn’t support us in trying to keep the Library quiet. To them, her rights override yours.
Lady: That’s fucked up.
Clerk: Yes. Yes, it is.
Overheard in the Library #5:
Supervisor: You aren’t doing that right.
Clerk: Oh?
Supervisor: Yes. You pick up the book with your right hand, then place it on the pad.
Clerk: But it’s easier for me to use my left…
Supervisor: No! You need to do things the right way.
Clerk: <incoherent grumblings>
Overheard in the Library #6:
Rich Lady: Did you know my husband is impotent?
Clerk: ….Really?
Rich Lady: Yes. Sometimes I miss my ex. He was much better in bed.
Clerk: …Ok. These books are due on June 6th.
They all sound plausible to me. Except maybe the thing with the chicken. But if your friend ever worked at a rural library, I’d believe that one too. I’ve yet to see anyone with a chicken in urban Seattle. I think technically we’re not supposed to have farm animals. So if you do have a chicken, you might not want to advertise that fact. Else you might get some sort of chicken ticket.
Actually, I wasn’t aware you weren’t supposed to bring pets into the library. People do bring their little dogs into the branch near us regularly. Since they’re the tiny dogs, and often in little pouches or cases carried by the owners, I don’t think they’re doing a lot of guiding.
Hope your scratches healed up!
[…] In order to vote pro or con on the motions we had to hold our “credentials” in the air to be counted. Generally one group of yellow postcards held aloft out numbered the other group of yellow postcards held aloft, but when they didn’t a count was called. The word ‘archaic’ came to mind. I couldn’t help but think that here in the year Two Thousand Eight, things would be more streamlined, more precise, less wonky. And at this point I would like to comment that some of my “neighbors and friends” are… crazy. Not incoherent, but a bit illogical? maybe out of touch? I’ve tried to find the words to describe them, but you’ve just gotta experience them. I think many of them may be the library patrons that plague my favorite librarian. […]
I don’t know why I’ve never been here before. It’s really bright and airy. And fun. I think I’ll have to go with the chicken one, too.
Is there a prize?
Actually, all six of these have happened in some form or another. Except the chicken was actually a snake. Unfortunately for us all, #6 really did happen, word for word. #2 ended that way in my head.
I used to read those sites ALL THE TIME..now I have way too many people blogs and have limited myself to Fail…
Anyway…OMG..those are hysterical observations. Love them! 4 and 5 made my eye twitch a little though…wtf?